Hallo

Hallo

Julle behoort die volgende artikel oor die afgelope Tri Nations te geniet. Daar is heelwat hunor en waarheid in.

Geniet dit.

Anna-Maré

Here's our plums and prunes
Tuesday September 12 2006
And the winner is....

First we brought you are Team of the Tournament. Now it is our annual Tri-Nations awards ... with our team of reporters handing out their own plums and prunes.

There are the obvious things, such as awarding New Zealand the Team of the Tournament award - after all, they not only won the event, they totally dominated it.

But there are also the not so serious awards and we also invite you to e-mail us any awards we may have missed.

Here we go!

Try of the tournament: Plenty of candidates here, there was the end-to-end move that culminated in Luke McAlister's try in Pretoria, and Mat Rogers's match-winning try for Australia against South Africa in Sydney, but for a sheer moment of individual skill and class in a tight spot, Joe Rokocoko's try in New Zealand's 13-9 win over Australia gets the nod. If you missed it, here is our reporter's description:

"They were going left in close formation. Right against the touch-line, Joe Rokocoko got a tiny pass from Jerry Collins which he had to pull back from behind and then he accelerated. He went past Rocky Elsom on the outside, away from Matt Giteau and then inside Chris Latham for a magnificent try."

Villain of the tournament: Lote Tuqiri, for the spear tackle on Richie McCaw that we don't really want to see again.

Player of the tournament: Was always going to be close. Mils Muliaina deserves a mention - and yes, we know he is not in our team of the tournament, but we couldn't decide which position to have him! Also he didn't play all the games. Richie McCaw did, and for consistent brilliance and leadership at pretty much everything, he gets the nod.

And now for the more light-hearted...

The Lightning Strike award: Fourie du Preez's try against New Zealand was timed at 16.89 seconds.

Scotland Yard award for multiple interceptions: Bryan Habana, keeps up a record of roughly one interception try in each two he scores.

The Dr. Phil award for family therapy: Jake White, for the comment about his sons fetching the beers on a Sunday. What happened to family give and take?

The George Bush award for random interjectory phrases in an otherwise sensible conversation: Jake White "when you pull a rabbit out of the hat people get surprises" Huh?

The UN ambassadorship award for public displays of cultural understanding: "That was really KAK." - after a particularly poorly, misdirected Percy Montgomery drop-goal attempt, a nice piece of multi-cultural commentary there, Phil Kearns (using some particularly descriptive Afrikaans. The English translation: 'SHIT').

The Roswell award for conspiracy theories: Graham Henry for his Australian spy-ring claims.

The Pampers award for being caught short in public: Jerry Collins's little on-pitch indiscretion in Christchurch.

The Teflon award for dropping easy passes: Isaia Toeava. All he had to do was catch and fall over against Australia in Auckland!

The Arnold Schwarzenegger award for laughing when you should be falling to the floor: Johann Muller, for his big smile after being punched by Ali Williams.

The 'I did it my way' award: Luke McAlister's try in Pretoria, opting to take on the tackler instead of passing to any one of five supporting players.

The Crybaby award: Aaron Mauger for his comment about South Africans being bullies.

The Tumbleweed award: How many empty seats in Rustenburg?

The Gladiator award: Richie McCaw, who accumulated facial wounds almost as quickly as his team accumulated points.

The Oscar Wilde phrasebook award: Our very own Andy Jackson, for the following turn of phrase:

"Despite the flaky performances, two absolute truths remain etched in stone - the All Blacks are still the current Picassos of world rugby, able to forge masterpieces with the merest flick of the wrist; the Springboks continue to paint by numbers."

The Sick Note award: Joe van Niekerk - spent about 12 hours on the first team list having replaced Juan Smith, then dropped out with a sore neck.

The 'Flash the cash' award: SARU, accommodating their conquerors in luxury fit for kings in Sun City. Perhaps the ruse worked though, the ABs were decidedly relaxed in Rustenburg.

The Willing Guinea-pig award: Brent Russell, who worked tirelessly on tour to Australia and New Zealand without so much as a 'on you go, only a couple left' of game-time.

The Cry the Beloved Country award: Solly Tyibilika, a long time since we last saw real tears during the national anthems. Puff out that chest, Solly, your country needs you!

The Spanish Inquisition award for torturous techniques: The Loftus Versfeld organisers, for the Mills and Boon soundtrack that passed for national anthems. Amazed more players don't cry with shame when presented with drivel like that on a day of national feeling. Rumour has it that some people actually removed their own ears rather than listen to it all the way through.

The Godfather award: Australia, whose coach John Connolly thought he could only trust his team through the medium of breathalysers

The Rocky Balboa award for not staying down: Carl Hayman, completely disoriented after being knocked out, staggering to his feet to try and chase down Lote Tuqiri.

And last but not least:

The True Reality TV award: South Africa's SuperSport team, for presenting the trophy to the wrong captain, gloating unashamedly at defeated players when their own team still finished last, and working without scripts and schedules - yes they do, Joost van der Westhuyzen said so.